Wedding Planning Observations

Well.  Now that EVERYONE can get married (hurrah!), let me share some observations I have garnered over the past two months.  I should point out that I’m 44 years old and getting married for the first time, plus I’m not a size two – so, by all accounts, I’m not exactly the wedding industry’s ideal customer.   Your own mileage may vary; however, I expect I’m not alone in a lot of this…

1)  Pinterest and Etsy are like crack.  Step away from the computer!

2)  Everything costs more than you think it will.

3)  Vendors will either spam you to death or won’t return emails and phone calls.  There’s no in-between.

4)  You’ll order invitation samples from all the online places and hate them all.  Then you will go to the stationary store down the street and fall in love with high-end letterpress invitations that cost almost as much as your engagement ring.  And then suddenly the samples you got in the mail won’t look so bad.

5)  Rustic isn’t cheap.  In fact, the worse shape a venue is in the more it will cost.

6)  You will change your color scheme because your 12-year old niece wants to wear a pink bridesmaid dress.  In fact, you were pretty certain this was going to happen because she’s been talking about a long pink dress since she was two years old.  And, you know that in ten years no one will remember or care what color dress she wore except her.  And she will still be delighted.

7)  You will rail against country club weddings…and then find yourself booking one for three reasons:  a) the wedding coordinator there is the most normal person you’ve met in the wedding industry; b) the packages they offer are actually affordable (as these things go, anyway); and c) you give up trying to justify spending thousands of dollars to rent an empty barn, however beautiful it may be.  You will book a venue then cancel it two weeks later when you find out there will simultaneously be a bar mitzvah and a golf tournament happening during your wedding.  The empty barn suddenly seems worth the extra money.

8)  You will spend three days obsessing over “save the date” cards and then, on a whim, ask your niece to draw you one instead.  (Results TBD…but you won’t be surprised if she draws herself in a pink dress on it.)

9) You will walk around with a folder full of wedding contracts and price sheets.  And then you will dump iced coffee all over everything.

10)  You will find yourself incapable of having a conversation that does not involve wedding topics.

11)  At some point you will realize that you are going to miss the entire cocktail hour and all that spinach dip because you’ll be having pictures taken.  And that will make you sad…

12)  …but then the cake lady will contact you and schedule your tasting, and things won’t seem so bad.

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About Lori Allen Writes

Lori is plotting to take over the world one essay, one quilt, and one hand knit sock at a time.
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