Oddities & Absurdities

1)  Like most of the eastern seaboard, I went to the grocery store last night.  I expected the bare bread shelves, and the low milk inventory, and having to share the aisles with hundreds of other harried and grumpy people.  I did not, however, expect a bare Diet Coke shelf.  I made three trips around the store and there was not one Diet Coke to be found.  (Regular Diet Coke, that is.  There was plenty of the caffeine-free crap.)

What is this about?  Does Diet Coke have some anti-blizzard powers I am unaware of?  Does it melt ice?  Or is it that people think, damn, I’m going to be stuck inside with my family for a few days, better make sure my caffeine and carbonation needs are met?

And if all that Diet Coke is being used as a mixer for adult beverages, I’m even more glad I’m not driving anywhere for the next few days.

2)  The other night I went to a middle-school talent show.  One act involved a kid escaping from a straightjacket.  I found myself paying very close attention.  I felt like this could be vital information someday.

3)  Also at the talent show was a little girl wearing a Lifesaver-green vest who marched to the middle of the gymnasium floor with her ukelele and belted out “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.  I was entranced.  First, kudos to whoever it was that encouraged her to sing an age-appropriate song, because I find there are few more disconcerting things than listening to a 12-year old sing “ooooh baby I want you, I need you, I love you”.  (Please.)  But second, there was this quality about her that was really enchanting; my sister agreed, and said there was just this childlike innocence about her that was refreshing.  But wow.  What a sad thing, to be in the middle of a room full of kids, and have only one who actually seemed like a kid.

Driving home, though?  I realized that if the VEB and I ever had a kid, she’d be exactly the sort of kid who would lug around a ukelele and sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” slightly off-key.

4)  The cat has taken to yowling her head off every night from 10:30 – 11 pm.  I have checked all the usual issues – food, water, litter box.  I’ve also made sure I haven’t accidentally covered up one of her favorite sleeping spots.  I don’t think she’s sick.  But something is making her sit in the kitchen at this particular juncture in time and moan up at the ceiling.  Bats?  Mice?  Why at this particular point in time?  More importantly, how do I make it stop?

The other problem is, if I email my landlord and say, “Hey, my cat is losing her mind every night, I think you should check the attic for vermin”, it’s going to mean exterminators traipsing through my apartment (because the attic access is in my laundry room).  And that would mean I’d have to clean.  And we all know how I feel about THAT.


About Lori Allen Writes

Lori is plotting to take over the world one essay, one quilt, and one hand knit sock at a time.
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